Before You Visit That Friend You Met On Social Media
Social media platforms these days are filled with monsters, mean people, deceitful people
alongside charming people, funny people, angels in form of humans; who understand us, love us, check up on us etc.
The latter set of people make us want to be online all the time no matter how expensive data is, even better now that there is free facebook(sorry you can’t view pictures).smiley
With time, a new friendship is created and tick-tock visiting hours are here. winkThe visiting plans are made between the man and woman to cement the already blossoming relationship into a concrete affair.
Gone are the days of,
girl : babe send me transport money.
The new thing is,
Boy : babe just come with your money or borrow money from your friend, I will pay you back when you get here.
(Boys are now men lol)laugh
Most often than not, it is the girl that goes the extra miles to meet the boy (well hello sister, we are in a man’s world)angry
Here are few reasons why we girls shouldn’t make that trip.
1. He may not be who he says he is:
Let me start by reminding you that all you know about him is all he told you he is;
hear say (NB hear say evidence is not always admissible in court in all cases, ask a
lawyercool). That means if he says he is an alpha male like teddy A, you would be banking on his word until you go there and meet a he-she (like our bobby somebody).
Don’t even depend on his profile or his pictures because a native doctor is also a doctorlaughlaugh. This reminds me of when a luscious diva sent me a friend request on facebook. Of course I wasn’t going to accept such a person with that kind of name (for God’s sake!! I am protective of my male friends as an elder sister shouldangel) but I was surprised to see that almost all of her picture backgrounds had strong resemblance with either my black gate or my range rover sport (except that the plate number is always covered). I got the shock of my life when I went to buy food from the food truck seller very close to my house one evening.
Her reply to my good evening was “madam you no want accept my friend request for facebook abi?" surprise(see me see wahala, how am I to know that madam Veronica is the same with lusa cious diva?)
Little wonder phones are expensive these days, filter cameras are the bomb!!
2. What took you there?
If your answer to the above question can convince any audience beyond all reasonable doubt then aunty carry your bag and make that trip but if not, aunty super glue your butt to your house. That would be the first question people will ask you when you chemically react to uncle’s touchwink in an agressive way.
So many other questions would be thrown at you if you can’t answer the above question, examples are “is he your brother?”
“shebi na you carry yourself come abi na kidnap he kidnap you?”
“ashawo, he no pay you complete?”
Once upon a time I didn’t know the answer to the above question when one brother invited me over to his place. He sounded so harmless over the phone and mature. He even promised to douse himself with cold water if his body should misbehave (wink). For my church mind, I have found a brother in Christ. The day came and I prepared looking as beautiful as always. I called my partner in crime aka my sister to inform her of my journey , only for her to narrate to me how daddy called her and told her about a bad dream he had concerning the death of one of us.
Hmmmm, heaven knows I am not liable to die young so I had to retreat and surrender (this type of hear say evidence is admissible in my court, thank you yes!!). The problem became how to tell my brother in christ that our planned mission has been aborted after all my promise and past disappointments.
Our beloved brother finally called sounding all happy like the MMM founder after it was introduced in Nigeria(laugh). Just know that the brother dropped the call before I could finish apologizing for not keeping my promise and he never did call back nor chatted me up again. Surprisingly after a year, bros remembered me and wanted us to meet again. I was still stating my terms and conditions one of which was ‘no sex’ when bros replied with “I am not your brother. We go just do am and I go satisfy you so tey you go ask for more”.(surprise)
That was how my ear went back to factory reset and all I could say was thank you God for stopping me from going the first time.
3. Are you up for sex with just anyone?
The first question you should ask yourself before embarking on that journey is “are you up for sex with just anyone?”. Irrespective of the Anthony Joshua’s body you think he has or the Andy Ruiz’s body you think he doesn’t have, are you up for ‘bedmatics’ with random people?
If you can’t have sex with random people please do save your taekwondo skill for Anthony Joshua and remain in your house except you have the strength to fight from dusk till dawn. Or do you not mind being raped?
The generally perceived notion is that "women want sex even when they say no because they are just being shy to give in easily”(sad
)
That was how another brother was inviting me over. I was yet to make up my mind, so I told him I will think about it. The bros started asking me the naughtiest thing I have ever done in life (aside from lying I know I am a saint). I told the brother I can’t remember but when I do I will tell him. I then asked bros the naughtiest thing he has ever done. Bros confessed to having engaged in twosome, party and the other somes but all have always been consensual (brethren, what does he really mean because I don’t understand)frown
4. In the middle of nowhere
Does it ever occur to you that you could be going to a no man's land, not like Lagos but a land where you don’t know your way, a land where you have no friends, relations or village people and a land where all you have got is yourself surrounded by strangers who could be worse/ better than your village people.
Who do you turn to if things don’t go as planned?
What do you do when you get lost in such a place? (my own is to keep praying that you at least have your transport fare with you)
Will the boy even be worried for a sec if something should happen to you on your way to see him?
Brethren, here comes the end of my sermon but remember that this sermon is for all the good girls.
Thank you.
cc : Farano
cc:Rocktation
cc:Lalasticlala
alongside charming people, funny people, angels in form of humans; who understand us, love us, check up on us etc.
The latter set of people make us want to be online all the time no matter how expensive data is, even better now that there is free facebook(sorry you can’t view pictures).smiley
With time, a new friendship is created and tick-tock visiting hours are here. winkThe visiting plans are made between the man and woman to cement the already blossoming relationship into a concrete affair.
Gone are the days of,
girl : babe send me transport money.
The new thing is,
Boy : babe just come with your money or borrow money from your friend, I will pay you back when you get here.
(Boys are now men lol)laugh
Most often than not, it is the girl that goes the extra miles to meet the boy (well hello sister, we are in a man’s world)angry
Here are few reasons why we girls shouldn’t make that trip.
1. He may not be who he says he is:
Let me start by reminding you that all you know about him is all he told you he is;
hear say (NB hear say evidence is not always admissible in court in all cases, ask a
lawyercool). That means if he says he is an alpha male like teddy A, you would be banking on his word until you go there and meet a he-she (like our bobby somebody).
Don’t even depend on his profile or his pictures because a native doctor is also a doctorlaughlaugh. This reminds me of when a luscious diva sent me a friend request on facebook. Of course I wasn’t going to accept such a person with that kind of name (for God’s sake!! I am protective of my male friends as an elder sister shouldangel) but I was surprised to see that almost all of her picture backgrounds had strong resemblance with either my black gate or my range rover sport (except that the plate number is always covered). I got the shock of my life when I went to buy food from the food truck seller very close to my house one evening.
Her reply to my good evening was “madam you no want accept my friend request for facebook abi?" surprise(see me see wahala, how am I to know that madam Veronica is the same with lusa cious diva?)
Little wonder phones are expensive these days, filter cameras are the bomb!!
2. What took you there?
If your answer to the above question can convince any audience beyond all reasonable doubt then aunty carry your bag and make that trip but if not, aunty super glue your butt to your house. That would be the first question people will ask you when you chemically react to uncle’s touchwink in an agressive way.
So many other questions would be thrown at you if you can’t answer the above question, examples are “is he your brother?”
“shebi na you carry yourself come abi na kidnap he kidnap you?”
“ashawo, he no pay you complete?”
Once upon a time I didn’t know the answer to the above question when one brother invited me over to his place. He sounded so harmless over the phone and mature. He even promised to douse himself with cold water if his body should misbehave (wink). For my church mind, I have found a brother in Christ. The day came and I prepared looking as beautiful as always. I called my partner in crime aka my sister to inform her of my journey , only for her to narrate to me how daddy called her and told her about a bad dream he had concerning the death of one of us.
Hmmmm, heaven knows I am not liable to die young so I had to retreat and surrender (this type of hear say evidence is admissible in my court, thank you yes!!). The problem became how to tell my brother in christ that our planned mission has been aborted after all my promise and past disappointments.
Our beloved brother finally called sounding all happy like the MMM founder after it was introduced in Nigeria(laugh). Just know that the brother dropped the call before I could finish apologizing for not keeping my promise and he never did call back nor chatted me up again. Surprisingly after a year, bros remembered me and wanted us to meet again. I was still stating my terms and conditions one of which was ‘no sex’ when bros replied with “I am not your brother. We go just do am and I go satisfy you so tey you go ask for more”.(surprise)
That was how my ear went back to factory reset and all I could say was thank you God for stopping me from going the first time.
3. Are you up for sex with just anyone?
The first question you should ask yourself before embarking on that journey is “are you up for sex with just anyone?”. Irrespective of the Anthony Joshua’s body you think he has or the Andy Ruiz’s body you think he doesn’t have, are you up for ‘bedmatics’ with random people?
If you can’t have sex with random people please do save your taekwondo skill for Anthony Joshua and remain in your house except you have the strength to fight from dusk till dawn. Or do you not mind being raped?
The generally perceived notion is that "women want sex even when they say no because they are just being shy to give in easily”(sad
)
That was how another brother was inviting me over. I was yet to make up my mind, so I told him I will think about it. The bros started asking me the naughtiest thing I have ever done in life (aside from lying I know I am a saint). I told the brother I can’t remember but when I do I will tell him. I then asked bros the naughtiest thing he has ever done. Bros confessed to having engaged in twosome, party and the other somes but all have always been consensual (brethren, what does he really mean because I don’t understand)frown
4. In the middle of nowhere
Does it ever occur to you that you could be going to a no man's land, not like Lagos but a land where you don’t know your way, a land where you have no friends, relations or village people and a land where all you have got is yourself surrounded by strangers who could be worse/ better than your village people.
Who do you turn to if things don’t go as planned?
What do you do when you get lost in such a place? (my own is to keep praying that you at least have your transport fare with you)
Will the boy even be worried for a sec if something should happen to you on your way to see him?
Brethren, here comes the end of my sermon but remember that this sermon is for all the good girls.
Thank you.
cc : Farano
cc:Rocktation
cc:Lalasticlala
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